Re: Food Choices. Sometimes it's all about survival

Happy Friday friends.



Well I have successfully completed 8 days of food & movement logging. You can check it out here if you have not already.

https://www.intuitivelyhealing.com/easy-blog

Edited to add: I now just post my daily eats on this blog. The easy blog App for some reason deleted all of my old updates! Just ignore the link above

As I look through this past 8 days of eating one word comes to mind. Survival. Why survival? Because as a recovering binge eater and emotional eater sometimes ANY meal or ANY food option is a success to me if it's not a binge. Hopefully you understand where I'm coming from. Sometimes depending on my mood, stress level, whats happening in the week etc...I don't have the energy or strength to care if I'm getting enough veggies in or how much sugar I have eaten or if something is organic or not. Sometimes all that matters is that I've had 3 square meals - nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes that is a win for me. Since the summertime I have been focusing on making little changes where I can - for example, walking more. In the summertime it was actually hard for me to walk. My legs would get sore very fast, I had a hard time breathing, got winded easily and gave up easily. Now I can easily walk for over an hour and I feel great. No breathing troubles, legs feel great, I can keep up with Lola and I can do it over and over and over again with minimal issues! I've noticed changes in my body, weight, stress levels and overall mood by getting out in the fresh air and moving my body almost daily. Not to mention Lola seems to be enjoying it ;)

Bottom line is, I have looked back over my food log and yes I see where I could be making changes, the need for more veggies and less refined options and smaller portions but I'm not beating myself up over it. Small changes over time; that's the goal.Speaking of which one small change Brent and I have been making is less caffeine (specifically coffee) We did not have coffee this week from Sunday to Thursday! We kept our goal of just enjoying coffee on the weekends. I've also been thinking about trying a juice challenge next week. I'm going to try having celery juice each morning for breakfast from Monday December 17th to the 21. I'm not sure how my taste buds will feel about this but we shall see. I have been reading up on the benefits of celery juice - especially if you drink it on an empty stomach in the morning and I think it could be really beneficial for me! I specifically heard about the benefits for the first time from "The Medical Medium" Check this out! 

It seems like something so simple and affordable that I could be doing that might give me some amazing results and benefits!

Stay tuned :) 

Stop Asking Me...

I hate that I have to share this but I feel it's of great importance for me and all women. I shared this on my facebook profile yesterday with the following video by Oneika the Traveller. Couldn't have said it better myself! . We've been married a year now and I'm not a ripe 20 anymore.🤷‍♀️ 🙄The questions have been coming including the disappointed looks, passive aggressive comments, suggestions and general expectations 😂 I hate being rude to people and avoid confrontation like the plague so mostly I make up a story each time someone asks me. It's a waste of time and super awkward.

I urge you to kindly stop asking people of any age...when they are going to have children. Also please stop assuming there's something wrong with me health wise since you know...its been a year and no baby. I've been taking care of myself for awhile now and think I'm doing a stand up job 👌✌️I've been pretty open and honest about my pcos issues because I think it's something many women experience these days but again, I'm taking care of myself and I feel great. We feel great and looking forward to achieving some awesome goals together in 2019 that may or may not include babies. Don't get me wrong. I love your babies. And so happy to see your families expand or stay the way they are! All of that your choice 💖 Yes... I have even been asked if I'm a baby hater 😂🙃

Either way it's our story to write, keep and/ or share together as husband and wife. That's two people if you were wondering 

Finding the One - Despite the Baggage

I thought I would write about something a little different today perhaps something uplifting and somewhat romantic. I see daily on my facebook feed, women (and men) frustrated with dating and finding “the one”. Extremely bitter and negative people giving up on their love life (and I get it…ive been there!)  Finding and marrying the love of my life definitely forced me to step outside of my comfort zone. It wasn’t an easy road as the world of dating can sometimes be like a roller coaster of highs and lows. I had to go through 4-5 very hard (and immature) relationships to be able to be blessed with my soulmate. I’d rather not rehash or dwell on those older relationships rather let you know what lead me to Brent (my husband!)

Sick and tired of meeting people not matched to me and my personality, I decided to take a leap of faith and join eharmony.com. Despite what you may think (please open your mind people!) It’s a paid for site that matches people to your interests, mannerisms, hobbies, personality etc. Dang…they went DEEP into my psyche and I was pretty impressed with all of the questions and they got into the core of my personality, desires and mannerisms.  I only went on one other (unsuccessful) date before being matched with and finding Brent!

We started talking in November of 2015. Thankfully he sent me a message. We quickly took our budding relationship to email and spent many days emailing back and forth about everything under the sun – family, jobs, hobbies, interests, goals etc. I definitely made him work for it. I made him wait about a month before we met up (I was a chicken!) I remember chatting with some co-workers about him and said his first and last name and one of them actually KNEW HIM and went to high school with him! Small world. I asked her what she thought of him and she said...”He is genuine” I knew I could trust this co-worker and so after that day we set a date in December to meet up at Coffee Culture. I remember clearly that day, walking in and seeing his smiling face there waiting for me and he greeted me with a friendly hug. Despite the nerves – conversation easily flowed as did many laughs. We enjoyed some hot drinks and than took a stroll to enjoy the Christmas lights at night. I took this that evening!

Pretty romantic...huh!? <3

After that stroll we didn’t want the date to finish (always a good sign!) so we actually went back to Coffee Culture to enjoy dinner. I remember him saying…“So this is going pretty well don’t you think??” Yes I think so, Brent! It went so well we agreed to have another date that week. I believe our second date was at an Indian restaurant. It was close to Christmas and he even brought me a gift (awww)Warm socks because my feet are always cold and lots of yummy teas! What a gentleman 📷

After a few dates we were both fairly certain, early on how we felt about each other and where the relationship was heading. We decided to “become a couple” right before New Years Eve.

And it was an amazing yet mentally and physically exhausting year – for both of us. Lots of travel (and I mean LOTS) back and forth between Tavistock and Cambridge…to Kitchener and everywhere in between – plus Brent was away a lot for work to Japan which was hard but we survived it! Both of us take joy and pleasures in the little adventures (getting a frozen Timmies and going for a drive) late at night, for example. Even a trip to Costco is like a date for us!  📷 We are definitely suited towards each other….we avoid crowds and like things uncomplicated.

Brent continued to pursue me despite being in a relationship for a little while (and vice versa!) Which I think is always important!

Our first Valentines Day together was so fun!

We experienced everything together that year  – lazy days in, dates out, meeting the family, frustrations from work, sickness, surgery, long distance relationship at times due to travel and more – and our love just grew stronger.

Ladies AND gentlemen…love shouldn’t HURT. I keep reading that…that true love hurts. I’m here to tell you that that is bullshit. Love doesn’t hurt and your partner shouldn’t be hurting you either. It should feel good, joyous, crazy at times, nerve wracking, happiness! Know your worth. Of course…love can’t always be a fairy tale (because that is an illusion). But you will always know what feels right and good.

Slowly but surely I was pretty truthful right off the bat with Brent about my history of disordered eating, skewed self image, and general history of yo-yo dieting and negative relationship with food. He loved me and supported me despite all of that emotional baggage. And it is BAGGAGE...to both partners when in a relationship. One affects one will surely affect the other. If you are getting into a relationship or in a relationship with someone, I urge you to be open and honest about everything. It's only from the truth that we can be set free and that love can bloom properly. Lean on your partner and wonderful things can happen. It did for me. Brent has definitely played an immense role in my recovery and I don't think he will ever comprehend how thankful i am for that.

It had been an amazing whirlwind time...almost a year.

And then November 4th 2016 came…..

Brent took me to a walking trail that my grandparents and parents used to take me too all the time as a child.

And he proposed – surrounded by the most wonderful yellow leaves….and later we would find a picture of my grandma sitting at a bench scarily close to where he chose to propose (ok Universe…ok Grandma…THANK YOU – you found me Mr.Right 📷 )We let my parents know first and then brents – both super happy for us! Wow. I still get goosebumps seeing that old photo of my grandma near the very spot where Brent chose to propose! If that's not a sign...then I don't know what is!

On November 4th 2016 I said yes to this amazing man. Whom loved me just as I was and I loved him just as he was. The universe does not care if you are not ready and my point is it doesn’t matter how you find him or her….love will find you and unfold in the most perfect for YOU (and maybe crazy manner!) Perhaps this isn’t the way you might find love but it was perfect for us. 

We got Married on November 5th, 2017. 

The months and weeks leading up to the wedding were calm. I didn't stress over losing weight or fitting into a dress. I bought a dress that fit me like a glove and needed very little alterations. Despite being at my highest weight I didn't do any crazy boot camps or restriction diets. I chose to honor our relationship by simply "not going there" I know many brides do...and I can understand why - but for me - it simply was not worth the stress.

it was the most magical and wonderful day 📷  And as I write this I struggle to hold back the happy tears! 

If someone like me can find love – introverted, empathic, homebody…can find love – I know you will too. Change your negative mindset to a positive one, take some chances and slowly you will attract just what you need. My world shifted in the days leading up to the wedding....my wedding triggered something in me and the universe and we collided. It would be the trigger to somewhat of an awakening for me. More on that coming soon!

xoxo Jocelyn

Going with the Flow

Good evening friends and happy Sunday.

Well things are all a go around the Dietrich home lately. We have been busy bees getting our Christmas decor out and attending family gatherings galore. I love the Christmas season. It's the one thing that has remained a constant source of happiness for me even while growing up. No matter what shit we were going through everyone stopped being dickheads around the holidays. lol.

I used to get all worked up because of all of the FOOD, FOOD, FOOD. I guess some of the anxiety is still there ....it always will be. I'm learning how to breathe that back out into the collective. It's not good to bottle that up and hold onto it. My food choices have been a little willy nilly lately but my weight is still maintaining or going down which is great. I am learning and practicing going with the flow of things. The leak soup update really set me up nicely!  Still keeping on track with my 100 pound weight loss goal!Yesterday I had a honking slice of Hawaiian pizza and today at my nieces birthday party I had delicious burger, homemade potato salad as well as cake and icecream.  I would likely feel better with less sugar and gluten (I KNOW my body and what makes it feel good) but cest la vie. 

I came across this post via instagram stories from Candace Cameron Bure (actress from Full House and Fuller House) and it really resonated with me so I thought I would share it with you all! I used to really beat myself up up over the holidays rather than allow myself to just take it all in and enjoy it and  get back to my regular scheduled routine the following day. Instead it was a downward spiral for me. Thankfully...for the most part, it's not usually like that anymore. I do have my moments, though. 

Look at this beautiful cake my sister in law made! I couldn't say no ;) 

In other news, I received the loveliest message today from a reader...and it really made me feel like I'm doing something right for once in my life. To know that I'm not alone in this life long struggle and that others have experienced the same kind of things that I have. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather nobody go through it....but it's nice to not be the only one. It also makes me want to write more, share more, put our heads together and get through this life together! Going forward I will try to share more of my daily food choices, thoughts, struggles, weight loss, physical pursuits and more.

Peace out everyone ...have a wonderful Sunday evening. 

Somewhere In The Middle

This was originally written by myself last year

March 13, 2018

...but I thought it might resonate with some of you today. Every now and then, in our path of healing we feel stuck...and it's OK. As long as you step outside of yourself, acknowledge that's how we feel...and move along.

Do you ever go through periods of time; minutes, days, weeks..maybe even months,where you feel like you are just floating through life? Just existing?Where you know you could do better, be a better wife, sister, daughter, friend, mother, furmom….? How about eat better, dress better, heck shower daily!?  Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you have spent a good amount of time sitting down frustrated; mapping out plans, goals, and dreams for yourself and your life but everything remains stagnant?  You feel like you have a great big boulder standing in front of your progress. You feel like a hamster on a wheel. If you feel like this…well welcome to my world –  I feel like this a lot too. I feel like I have been going through this lately. This living in that middle space thing.  I know it’s all part of the “plan” and healing process to heal myself emotionally, physically and spiritually as well as healing myself of chronic candida. But it’s hard.  Soul searching is eye opening but it can also be like wading through a thick mud. Healing is messy and like the quote below…it’s never easy or linear. 

I don’t want to say it’s depression (maybe it is in your case in which case I urge you to speak with a professional)…although maybe mild anxiety is apart of it for me. I know general over thinking things is big in my situation – I think we all get caught up in overthinking, though. Candida is a huge culprit as well and something I have been dealing with since I was 15. But in general,  It FEELS just like the blahs to me. You feel not good..not great…somewhere in the middle – stuck in the middle. My body aches, my head hurts, I over analyze everything and I don’t feel like myself. Although being a lifelong empath and not really knowing it…I have a hard time knowing what I actually feel like to myself. What my own energy field feels like. But I know that I don’t feel like going for a walk even though I should. I don’t feel like eating a salad for dinner…even though I should. I don’t feel like eliminating sugar from my diet even though I know that I should and it will help heal myself from candida. I don’t feel like plastering a smile on my face in all social situations…even though I should! Don’t get me wrong…I’m a happy enough person – but sometimes I still feel stuck. Happy people can feel and get stuck too. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life and something that I have been stepping outside of myself and recognizing it more, lately. It’s not a healthy place to be in…but I think many of us EXIST in this place. And we get comfortable. And it’s hard to pull ourselves out so that we can live our best life. It can be overwhelming.

I have a great support system…so it has nothing to do with that. My husband is amazing, I have a best friend who supports me and lifts me up whenever I need it and even when I don’t need it, my parents are there for me even though they live far away for a few months out of the year. I still talk to them daily. No…it’s not because I’m lacking support. It’s just a pattern that I get stuck in and I find it tough to pull myself out of it. Kind of like living in limbo. I know what I must do…but I just don’t do those things.

I feel like something great is always around the bend that I can reach and achieve but I’m having difficulty getting to that something great. I feel it in my bones..in my soul.

I think people out there need to read stuff like this.Social media and what we share and post is only one peice of the puzzle...but it can make everyone seem as if they are living these shiny, perfect lives. Which we know is far from the truth. We are human, afterall! Sometimes we will be in that middle space. Not super up high “woo woo” in the Heavens and not negatively down below…but just here. And that’s OK. So long as you recognize it, accept it and realize that something has to change. Maybe not immediately...but as long as we are making the motions to change, everything will be alright according to the universe.  I always get so inspired reading about people doing great things and living their life to their full potential but I’m not in that space yet myself and I know there are others out there like me as well. I’m here to represent whatever we are!