March 13, 2018
...but I thought it might resonate with some of you today. Every now and then, in our path of healing we feel stuck...and it's OK. As long as you step outside of yourself, acknowledge that's how we feel...and move along.
Do you ever go through periods of time; minutes, days, weeks..maybe even months,where you feel like you are just floating through life? Just existing?Where you know you could do better, be a better wife, sister, daughter, friend, mother, furmom….? How about eat better, dress better, heck shower daily!? Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you have spent a good amount of time sitting down frustrated; mapping out plans, goals, and dreams for yourself and your life but everything remains stagnant? You feel like you have a great big boulder standing in front of your progress. You feel like a hamster on a wheel. If you feel like this…well welcome to my world – I feel like this a lot too. I feel like I have been going through this lately. This living in that middle space thing. I know it’s all part of the “plan” and healing process to heal myself emotionally, physically and spiritually as well as healing myself of chronic candida. But it’s hard. Soul searching is eye opening but it can also be like wading through a thick mud. Healing is messy and like the quote below…it’s never easy or linear.
I don’t want to say it’s depression (maybe it is in your case in which case I urge you to speak with a professional)…although maybe mild anxiety is apart of it for me. I know general over thinking things is big in my situation – I think we all get caught up in overthinking, though. Candida is a huge culprit as well and something I have been dealing with since I was 15. But in general, It FEELS just like the blahs to me. You feel not good..not great…somewhere in the middle – stuck in the middle. My body aches, my head hurts, I over analyze everything and I don’t feel like myself. Although being a lifelong empath and not really knowing it…I have a hard time knowing what I actually feel like to myself. What my own energy field feels like. But I know that I don’t feel like going for a walk even though I should. I don’t feel like eating a salad for dinner…even though I should. I don’t feel like eliminating sugar from my diet even though I know that I should and it will help heal myself from candida. I don’t feel like plastering a smile on my face in all social situations…even though I should! Don’t get me wrong…I’m a happy enough person – but sometimes I still feel stuck. Happy people can feel and get stuck too. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life and something that I have been stepping outside of myself and recognizing it more, lately. It’s not a healthy place to be in…but I think many of us EXIST in this place. And we get comfortable. And it’s hard to pull ourselves out so that we can live our best life. It can be overwhelming.
I have a great support system…so it has nothing to do with that. My husband is amazing, I have a best friend who supports me and lifts me up whenever I need it and even when I don’t need it, my parents are there for me even though they live far away for a few months out of the year. I still talk to them daily. No…it’s not because I’m lacking support. It’s just a pattern that I get stuck in and I find it tough to pull myself out of it. Kind of like living in limbo. I know what I must do…but I just don’t do those things.
I feel like something great is always around the bend that I can reach and achieve but I’m having difficulty getting to that something great. I feel it in my bones..in my soul.
I think people out there need to read stuff like this.Social media and what we share and post is only one peice of the puzzle...but it can make everyone seem as if they are living these shiny, perfect lives. Which we know is far from the truth. We are human, afterall! Sometimes we will be in that middle space. Not super up high “woo woo” in the Heavens and not negatively down below…but just here. And that’s OK. So long as you recognize it, accept it and realize that something has to change. Maybe not immediately...but as long as we are making the motions to change, everything will be alright according to the universe. I always get so inspired reading about people doing great things and living their life to their full potential but I’m not in that space yet myself and I know there are others out there like me as well. I’m here to represent whatever we are!
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